Maybe this happened to you..... 
A drunk guy in a bar pukes all over his new shirt. "Damn," he says. "I puked on my new shirt. If my wife finds out, she's gonna kill me."
"Not to worry," says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk's pocket. "Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill."
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. "Why are there two twenties?" she asks.
The drunk replies, "h, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too."
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